I label myself a spontaneous planner.

As in- I’m totally into spontaneity, but let’s be real… a little planning in the process never hurt anyone.

It’s comfortable here, where I know plan, where things are going smoothly, where there’s little worry, or room for error. However, I’ve never known a time in my life where things went so consistently against my plans. Details don’t need hashed out; but without a doubt, the stress of the unforseens in recent months have taken their toll on me.

It’s tiresome.

Tina Fey gets me, in fact I am sure her dedication in Bossypants should have been directed towards me. I identify:

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”

Sometimes, even if just for a brief minute, I stew. I stew in my blorft attitude and I wonder why.

Even now, I sit in Guatemala once again and I say “Alright, I’m quite done.This day has finished me. Life, I need you to slow your roll, I don’t need you to stir the pot any more.” And simple as that, my why’s come back.

The result of a weary soul and body, and “the plan” never going right… questions.

Why do I care about my job?

Why do I care if what I do makes a difference?

Why do I throw myself entirely into this?

Why does is run me ragged?

Why don’t I just stop?

And just when the why’s, the stress, the struggle, the fatigue is so convincing and I start to see the glint of their victory in my life…

These faces make their way out of my archives….

And I see that day, that problem, that frustration, that exhaustion, that decision that I’m struggling through, as just a piece of the future.

Their futures. That are much more fragile than my weariness.


This week, we blog, live from Guatemala.

We’re covering stories like Kevin’s, and we’re talking about how you can get involved.

Please don’t just stop with reading the storiesdo something with them.

3 thoughts on “Blorft.

  1. It’s hard for us to see God’s plan when we are struggling with the mundane things of life. But then in the midst of it all, when we’ve finally reached our end God reminds us. That reminder refreshes the soul as nothing else can. Press on in the work God has called you to. Praying.

  2. Pingback: Traveling to Guatemala | Blogger Trip Day One | World Help

  3. What a great word–blorft. I may just have to use it.

    Seriously . . . the why questions. I think a lot of it–at least your first 3 questions are answered by the simple phrase, “You’re becoming more and more like Jesus.” The answer to the 4th question? Ministry does that if you let it. There’s so much need and so few workers, so you give it all you’ve got. The 5th question? That’s the hardest answer. We don’t stop because we know in and through Jesus we’re capable of making a difference with the time, talents, and treasure he gave us. The problem is that most of the time we really suck at self-care. (At least I do . . . and a lot of the people I work with are still figuring it out on some level.) We feel like there are only two speeds: full throttle and full stop. Find a middle speed where you take care of yourself and do the things that refresh your soul and your mind. They’ll make you much more effective in the long run.

    (Sorry for getting all excited that you were in Brussels. Too many Tiffany’s and a brain fart.)

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