Today I googled the phrase:
“What do I do when I don’t know what to do?”
Effective use of time and energy, I know.
However, I was being honest with Google, vulnerable with the cyberworld… my fingers crossed for an answer. I wanted to know that someone else in this world had possibly been in the same boat as me, and had successfully navigated the waters to enlightenment.
Instead of enlightenment, I received this response, “Tiffany Rose, get a grip.” It didn’t flash across my search engine, it came from my own snide, slightly judgmental mind. I hate it when I have to use my own middle name against myself…
Stale… that’s the word that comes to mind as I finally decide to sort through this mess I’ve been struggling with for the past month. Like a sleeve of crackers, left open unintentionally, and caught just after they’re past the point of salvaging. I don’t know of anyone who truly enjoys something that has gone stale… the lack of flavor, the lack of crisp, the loss of that freshness. It’s very unappealing.
That’s where we end up sometimes though, isn’t it? We’ve run out of our good ideas, we’ve replaced our creativity with exhaustion, our goals have become hazy and slightly out of reach. We let the moisture of frustration, fear, and fatigue taint our potency, our “freshness”.
This dried out feeling, seems to be on every side at times even when we are intentionally working hard for what is good… not only because we are at war with evil, but because we are human. We have plans, ideas, and vision for how things are supposed to work… unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen the way we dream it will.
Discouragement can be a result of many different things, expectations that aren’t met, challenges faced in our profession, a lack of success… any number of things. I find that when I am battling discouragement, it’s because my expectations are not being met, and I’ve allowed my human heart to tell I’m continually failing.
In those moments I have to refocus, I have to intentionally carve space in my schedule and I have get honest.
The last one being key- I have to acknowledge my wilderness, and I have to really identify the root of my discouragement, otherwise I start running out of the wilderness with no real success in learning why I am there, and unfortunately when that is the response- I end up back in the same wilderness for the same reasons.
So today, I’m a little stale and I’m sure some of you can relate, but I’m remembering this…