9 Months

It was the first day of April, 2013… just 9 months ago that I wrote about the wilderness and how I was struggling through it.

If I’m honest about it, I knew then.

I knew 9 months ago my job was coming to a close, and life was going to change.

  • Did I put it in those words? No.
  • Did I know what it was going to look like? Not really.
  • Did I expect to be downsized? Does anyone ever expect that?

But did I know? I think so.

I had said it time and time again, to the closest of confidants…

“Something is going to change, life is going to look different soon, I don’t know what it’s going to be or how it’s going to happen, I just know that my life is culminating for something big, very soon.”

And here I am, 9 months in and life is so different it’s nearly unrecognizable. The deep breath before the plunge, the gathering of the clouds before the storm, I’ve felt it these months- and now the dive, the downpour.

This incubation period, this 9 month pregnancy, if you will- is getting ready to give birth to what I believe will be the most challenging chapter of my life as of yet.

Looking back on April, I’m drawn to the same scripture I was back then-

“Look, I am about to do something new, even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:19

How beautiful. 

I have been walking through this wilderness for some time now, at times I’ve tried to run through it, run from it, leave it in the dust. But isn’t that His way? He leads us through the wilderness and says:

“Oh, you, I have grand ways I will glorify myself in you. Just walk through this with Me. Don’t fear the path that you don’t recognize, because I know it.

The beginning of the chapter caught my eye this time around, because as I have been walking through the wilderness, I’ve attained a different perspective from the experience.

I’ve gleaned the truth of what He says, because I’ve experienced it.

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“do not fear… for I love you.”

On the precipice of a new year, filled with new challenges, opportunities, and dreams, I am filled with a confidence about the future.

Not because I know the path, and not because I think I am out of the wilderness just yet, but because I know the Lord has walked each step of that desert with me, and has plunged with me, beneath each wave that has threatened to drown me. I’m understanding that the wilderness is serving it’s purpose… to teach me that there are ugly and hard patches on the journey, but there are also oceans, and rivers, and valleys, and mountains…

…and I’m a mountain girl at heart. 

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